He wants our hearts.

It's amazing how nieve I can be with God, do you ever feel that way? It's moments like last night while doing my Ruth study, that I realized how difficult I make conversation with Him. I am able to graciously thank Him and praise Him in times of prosperity, but during the moments of trial and misunderstanding I tend to numb the blanks with a coffee cup full of ice cream or updating my Instagram feed in place of praying and asking humbly for His reasons.

Up until Kelly pointed out how maybe we do these things because we are afraid of what we'll experience once we state our peace or fearful that we won't hear anything back from God or even that He'll require something of us we won't want to give, I guess I thought well: He's God, and I shouldn't question His reasons, it would be silly to question Him right? Sure it's fine to question my husband when he eats that whole box of oreos in one sitting, but God? No way! He is the one person I shouldn't question, right?

Not neccessarily. I'm learning now that I can address my concerns, and it's totally fine with Him. Because that is exactly what He wants me to do. I cannot avoid God during adversity. It just doesn't work. I have got to express my need for His reasons before He can reveal them to me! It's kind of like that saying: "Well if you never ask, you'll never know" I suppose. 

I fell so hard in prayer after I realized how dumbfounded I discovered I was all this time. I wept like a two year old whose cherry-lime popsicle melted insanely too fast right in my hands, but oh it was a cry I needed and I pray the Lord heard it at my best. 

There are many people in the scripture that question God's reasons, many, many! Job for instance faced so much trial and even felt as I do sometimes, in a pit with no escape and asked God many times, "You made me God so why do you destroy me? And "God you hear my cries all of the time, or do you really hear them?". Job felt sometimes that he didn't have a chance with God and I can relate to him in so many instances, but I never took the time to ask as he did. You can see his cries toward God in these verses:

Job 9: 16-19

Job 10: 8-9

Job 19: 8-10

Regardless of my fears, I know now that God wants to hear my voice, any questions big or small, any doubt, any anger I'm dealing with, He wants to hear it all. Just as a healthy home thrives on verbally expressing differences of opinions in misunderstandings in order to "work it out", that's what it takes with God too. 

You can't expect to find healing when you don't even bother to point out the wound.

If your feeling frustrated about something God has put before you, don't avoid talking to Him about it. Really tell Him what is on your mind, ask Him why and just lay it all out before Him. He wants to hear your side, it's not a one way conversation and He wants you to know that. I felt inspired to write on this subject because it just touched my heart so good, and I can see how others can most likely feel the same way I have felt about verbally talking with God.